Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

28

Aug

Mike Rowe on the Ice Bucket Challenge

It’s interesting that some feel the need to say all of this instead of just declining to donate and simply explaining that their charitable funds budget are for other causes nearer to their hearts.

The challenge will fizzle on its own naturally without the somewhat negative view of the effort (taking funds from other charities, “overwhelming” a charity used to getting a lot less money, and the hint that there are other charities more deserving of more money because more people have those illnesses), all of which I completely disagree with.

Some of the people donating right now wouldn’t have donated to anything this year without this kind of fun incentive. Overwhelming a charity that’s not used to these kinds of funds? That sounds like a GREAT problem to have. Other more deserving charities? Illnesses that strike a larger percentage of the population are also getting funds and research efforts from places that ALS doesn’t generate money BECAUSE less people have ALS and there is less money to be made off of a cure (think: pharmaceutical companies). That’s a completely unfair comparison.

Try using the time that has been spent being annoyed by a flash in the charity pan to, instead, donate a few bucks to the charity of your choice. Take a note from Frozen and let it go.

22

Aug

"Dead at noon: B.C. woman ends her life rather than suffer indignity of dementia"

MY THOUGHTS: While I respect this woman’s right to choose how her life ended, there’s a dangerous tone in these types of conversation about dementia. I believe there can still be a quality of life and that some people (myself included) would not choose to die rather than live with dementia. It’s a different life, but I believe it can still have worth for some. Everyone’s journey with the disease is different, in ways that aren’t comparable to more straightforward physical illnesses.

I also strongly disagree with the premise at the end that if there was assisted suicide for dementia, then this woman could’ve lived longer. How would others choose where to draw that line? Dementia progresses differently for each person and the person with dementia often can’t tell you when enough is enough. I support her in making a clear choice on her own, but asking someone else to draw that line in the course of a very complicated and progressive disease is, in my opinion, completely unfair to the person who would have to make the call. I don’t think there is enough cognitive ability at later stages to call it assisted any longer. It would be something else entirely. And THAT I am not okay with, personally.

A person with dementia still has grace. People like me work to try and preserve it while maintaining as much safety and dignity as possible, and there are plenty of people who live for years with the illness while regularly experiencing happiness and sometimes even a kind of joy that isn’t possible except in the childlike place you sometimes revisit. Minimizing that factor evokes feelings in me that are similar to when I’ve heard people comment that those with severe (or even non-severe) developmental disabilities should’ve been allowed to die rather than “live like that.”

Not everyone finds that altered existence acceptable. That’s okay. But there IS grace to be found in all of the ways we exit this world, and we are still someone even in the latest stages of this illness. Those left behind may not understand or welcome the someone their loved one becomes, but there is still a life present, and one of some value even if it’s different, or ugly, or a huge departure from the person’s earlier personality. Sometimes wonderful, pleasant people become mean or angry, yes, but sometimes I hear a long-abused son or daughter tell me that dementia gave them a brief period of seeing their parent as the happy person they may have been before they grew hard and mean, and there can be relief in that in strange ways.

I’m glad for this woman, who found the right way to end things on her chosen terms, but the tone of the current conversation about dementia really worries me. There are stories of men whose wives are diagnosed and they shoot their spouse and then themselves. The conversation needs to be a careful one or we’re creating a scary climate among the elderly.

13

Nov

levsnews: Why I’ve filed an EEOC charge against Time Warner

katespencer:

joshlevs:

Hi everyone.

My attorneys have filed an EEOC charge on my behalf against Time Warner over an offensive and discriminatory policy.

Under Time Warner rules, all parents of new children have the option of 10 paid weeks off — except biological fathers.

For more than two months — beginning when…

This is important. [via Soraya Chemaly]

Yes.

05

Nov

Be a Human: Helping People Through Trauma When You Don't Know What To Say

acswaclinicalsocialwork:

A wonderful, practical, helpful article. Get this advice out there!

04

Nov

teachingliteracy:

(1) President Abraham Lincoln, who had depression
(2) Writer Virginia Woolf, who had bipolar disorder
(3) Artist Vincent Van Gogh, who had bipolar disorder
(4) Writer Sylvia Plath, who had depression
(5) Mathematician John Nash (from A Brilliant Mind), who had schizophrenia

Inspired by this post

(Source: madvocate)

16

Sep

EYE LINGER: Emotional Abuse

eyelinger:

Some types of emotional abuse that are really fucking difficult to experience and get away from:

"Denying

Invalidating seeks to distort or undermine the recipient’s perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or fails to acknowledge reality. For example, if the…

15

Sep

canmakedothink:

The Gentlewoman from Massachusetts, everyone.

canmakedothink:

The Gentlewoman from Massachusetts, everyone.

(Source: yodadontgottimeforyourshit)

14

Sep

katespencer:

Jesus, have you seen this video of the 96-year-old man who entered a songwriting contest with a song he wrote for his wife who died a month earlier?

My husband just asked me if I was okay because I was weeping so hard watching this. Have fun!!

[You can buy the song here]

*sob*

13

Sep

Amazeballs Education

Socialism:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture:
'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism:
You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist:
You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism:
You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia:
You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA:
You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat:
You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie:
You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney:
You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler:
You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice:
You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation:
You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr:
You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr:
I give you a hamburger.
Cows:
The shit you go through.
This post:
Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

28

Apr

pinkbunnu:

One of my favorite parts of this special. @louisck is fucking stunning.

15

Nov

9 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Relatives Over the Holidays.

For many people, the holidays are a joyous time; other people dread them. If you anticipate that you might have to spend time with difficult relatives, here are some strategies for keeping family dinners pleasant:

  1. Before you walk into the situation, spend a few minutes thinking about how you want to behave. Don’t just react in the moment; consider how you want to act. If you’ve had unpleasant experiences in the past, think about why they were unpleasant and what you could do to change the dynamics of the situation. You may just need to be more careful about getting enough sleep or giving yourself more travel time. If you want a peaceful dinner, think about how to contribute to a harmonious atmosphere. In particular…

  2. Think about how topics that seem innocuous to you might upset someone else. You may think you’re showing a polite interest, but some questions will rub a person the wrong way: “So do you have a boyfriend yet?” “When are you two going to get married/start a family?” “Didn’t you give up smoking?” “Can you afford that?” “When are you going to get a real job?” Show an interest with more open-ended questions, like “What are you up to these days?” or “What’s keeping you busy?” Also…

  3. Avoid strife. Some families enjoy arguing passionately amongst themselves; however, most don’t handle arguments very well. If you know Uncle Bob’s view of politics are going to drive you crazy, don’t bring it up! And if he brings it up, you don’t have to engage. Try to make a joke of it, and say something like, “Let’s agree to disagree,” “Let’s not talk about that, and give the rest of the family something to be thankful for,” etc. There’s a time and a place for everything.

  4. Don’t drink much alcohol. It can seem festive and fun to fill up your glass, but it’s easy to lose track of how much you’re drinking. Alcohol makes some people feel merry, but it also makes some people feel combative, or self-pitying, or lowers their inhibitions in a destructive way. I basically had to give up drinking because alcohol makes me so belligerent. And if other people seem to be trying to avoid or curb their drinking, don’t make a big deal of it or urge them to indulge.

  5. As best you can, play your part in the tradition. For some people, traditions are very, very important; for others, no. You may feel irritated by your brother’s insistence on having exactly the same food every Thanksgiving, or by your mother’s extreme reaction to the possibility that you might not come home for the day. Try to be patient and play your part. In the long run, traditions and rituals tend to help sustain happiness and family bonds. On the other hand…

  6. On the other hand, if you’re the one who wants everything to be perfect, try to ease up on yourself and everyone else, so you can enjoy the day, whatever happens. Make the best of the situation. Even f the day isn’t exactly the way you hoped it would be, try to enjoy what it is. My mother once told me, “The things that go wrong often make the best memories,” and it’s really true.

  7. Don’t stuff yourself. Research shows that in fact, most people add just one pound during the holidays – but then they never lose it. You’ll have more fun if you’re not feeling uncomfortably full and then guilty about having eaten too much. Think about strategies for staying in control of holiday eating; feeling bad about having eaten too much can make you feel irritable and angry, which spills over into your interactions with other people. And, in the same vein as #4, if you notice that someone is skipping the mashed potatoes or skimping on dessert, don’t comment or make it harder for them.

  8. Find some fun. One of my Secrets of Adulthood is Just because something is fun for someone else doesn’t mean it’s fun for you, and vice versa. If the time with your relatives is meant to be fun, make sure you’re spending at least some time doing something that’s fun for you. Working in the kitchen, playing touch football, sitting around talking, running errands, watching TV — these things may or may not be fun for you, no matter how the rest of the family feels.

  9. Find reasons to be grateful. Be thankful that you get to cook, or that you don’t have to cook. Be thankful that you get to travel, or that you don’t have to travel. Be thankful for your family or your friends. Find something. Studies show that gratitude is a major happiness booster. Also, feeling grateful toward someone crowds out emotions like resentment and annoyance.

08

Oct

Things parents forget to tell their children

  • Bodies are hairy. No matter the gender, your face will have hair and that is more than okay.
  • Your butthole is going to have some hair too. And maybe your nipples. And your tummy. And where ever else.
  • Stretch marks. Those are a thing. Everyone gets ‘em. If you don’t, you probably don’t have skin.
  • Vaginas smell. Every vagina has a scent. Don’t worry about it! (Unless something seems wrong, then go get it checked out! No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed.)
  • Vaginas come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
  • Penises come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
  • You don’t need to shave anything if you don’t want to. It’s tooootally not mandatory. 
  • Sometimes people get butt acne. 
  • You can have a vagina and want short hair and think dresses are just the worst.
  • You can have a penis and want long hair and think dresses are just the best. 
  • You can wear whatever you want and style your hair however you want.
  • You can even think whatever the hell you want.
  • People might tell you that you are a girl because you have a vagina. People might tell you that you are a boy because you have a penis. People will tell you what your gender is. But in reality, you don’t have to be that gender. You don’t have to be either of those genders. 
  • You are what you are and it’s just the worst thing if you try and hide that.

21

Sep

There is no such thing as not voting; you either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some Diehard’s vote.

04

Aug

Now fully covered. Awesome. 

Now fully covered. Awesome. 

30

Jul

I want all these young people to be getting a higher education, and I don’t want them loaded up with tens of thousands of dollars of debt just to get an education. That’s how we make America great.

Of course, that means all of you all have got to hit the books. I’m just saying. Don’t cheer and then you didn’t do your homework.

Because that’s part of the bargain—America says we will give you opportunity, but you’ve got to earn your success.

You’re competing against young people in Beijing and Bangalore. They’re not hanging out. They’re not playing video games. They’re not watching “Real Housewives.” I’m just saying. It’s a two-way street. You’ve got to earn success.

That wasn’t in my prepared remarks. But I’m just saying.
President Obama today, keeping it real (via barackobama)